You thanked her by wailing like a banshee.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.

You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.

You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.

You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.

You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.

You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.

You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.

You thanked her by throwing it through the

next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.

You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.

You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from

soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another.

You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.

You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

Those teenage years

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.

You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.

You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.

You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.

You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.

You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.

You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

Growing old and gray

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition,

drove you to campus, carried your bags.

You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't

be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.

You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.

You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.

You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.

You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.

You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told

you how deeply she loved you.

You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.

You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of an relative's birthday.

You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.

You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

Once gone, only fond memories of the past and also regrets will be left.

DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED THE THINGS CLOSEST TO YOUR HEART. CLING TO THEM AS

U WOULD YOUR LIFE, FOR WITHOUT THEM, LIFE IS MEANINGLESS.

Internet Download Manager : The fastest download accelerator

Internet Download Manager (IDM) is a tool to increase download speeds by up to 500 percent, resume and schedule downloads. Comprehensive error recovery and resume capability will restart broken or interrupted downloads due to lost connections, network problems, computer shutdowns, or unexpected power outages. Simple graphic user interface makes IDM user friendly and easy to use.

Internet Download Manager has a smart download logic accelerator that features intelligent dynamic file segmentation and safe multipart downloading technology to accelerate your downloads. Unlike other download accelerators and managers that segment files before downloading starts, Internet Download Manager segments downloaded files dynamically during download process. Internet Download Manager reuses available connections without additional connect and login stages to achieve better acceleration performance.

Internet Download Manager supports proxy servers, ftp and http protocols, firewalls, redirects, cookies, directories with authorization, MP3 audio and MPEG video content processing, and a large number of directory listing formats. IDM integrates seamlessly into Microsoft Internet Explorer, Netscape, MSN Explorer, AOL, Opera, Mozilla, Mozilla Firefox, Mozilla Firebird, Avant Browser, MyIE2, and all other popular browsers to automatically handle your downloads. You can also drag and drop files, or use Internet Download Manager from command line. Internet Download Manager can dial your modem at the set time, download the files you want, then hang up or even shut down your computer when it's done.

Key features of Internet Download Manager:

* All popular browsers and applications are supported! Internet Download Manager supports all versions of popular browsers, and can be integrated into any 3rd party Internet applications.
* Download with one click. When you click on a download link in a browser, IDM will take over the download and accelerate it. IDM supports HTTP, FTP and HTTPS protocols.
* Download Speed. Internet Download Manager can accelerate downloads by up to 5 times due to its intelligent dynamic file segmentation technology.
* Download Resume. Internet Download Manager will resume unfinished download from the place where they left off.
* Simple installation wizard. Quick and easy installation program will make necessary settings for you, and check your connection at the end to ensure trouble free installation of Internet Download Manager
* Automatic Antivirus checking. Antivirus checking makes your downloads free from viruses and trojans.
* Advanced Browser Integration. When enabled, the feature can be used to catch any download from any application. None of download managers have this feature.
* Built-in Scheduler. Internet Download Manager can connect to the Internet at a set time, download the files you want, disconnect, or shut down your computer when it's done.
* IDM supports many types of proxy servers. For example, IDM works with Microsoft ISA, and FTP proxy servers.
* IDM supports main authentication protocols: Basic, Negotiate, NTLM, and Keberos. Thus IDM can access many Internet and proxy servers using login name and password.
* Download All feature. IDM can add all downloads linked to the current page. It's easy to download multiple files with this feature.
* Customizable Interface. You may choose the order, and what buttons and columns appear on the main IDM window.
* Download Categories. Internet Download Manager can be used to organize downloads automatically using defined download categories.
* Quick Update Feature. Quick update may check for new versions of IDM and update IDM once per week.
* Download limits. Progressive downloading with quotas feature. The feature is useful for connections that use some kind of fair access policy (or FAP) like Direcway, Direct PC, Hughes, etc.
* Drag and Drop. You may simply drag and drop links to IDM, and drag and drop complete files out of Internet Download Manager.
* IDM is multilingual. IDM is translated to Arabic, Bosnian, Bulgarian, Chinese, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Lithuanian, Macedonian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Slovenian, Spanish, Thai languages.

What's new in version 5.19 build 3:
- Improved Windows 7 compatibility
- Fixed bugs

Multilingual: English, Spanish, French, Italian, Deustch, Japanese, Portugues, etc
Compatible with: Windows 95/98/Me/2000/NT/XP/2003/Vista/Server 2008/7 (32/64-bit)

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.”

The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child.

It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each one of us, as humans beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses… from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.

PLAYING LIKE WE PLAY IN OUR BUILDING....


AVATAR - FILM's EFFECT ON ELEPHANTS...
THEY ARE ALSO TRYING TO BOND???



Trumpet Player
FRENCH OPEN
Kabootar ka Study....
READ THIS STUPID QUESTION!!!
Did u notice It...???
VADA-PAV EFFECT!!!!
GREAT AD! GREAT IDEA!


This is what you call Multitasking.....PushUps cum Chapatti Making in process

THIS IS WHAT SCAN RESULTS GIVE U.....

THIS IS WHAT JUNK FOOD CAN DO 2 U!!

THE REAL CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING

DHOOM - 3

OVER-CROWDED

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. In a Film Theatre: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
Nooo, not at all,How can it hurt me... I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again?


3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why did God take away only him, of all the people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's my Aunt(his mother) who fascinates me.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed...But I will surely tell U after U remove all my Teeth.

10. Someone calls you at your landline...
Stupid Question:-
Hey where are you ??
Answer:-
Im at your place.

By generating an error message, the computer tries to convey that something is wrong. At least that is what an error message is supposed to do. But all that will change when you take a look at the following error messages. Please bear in mind that these are all real error messages.

No Keyboard Error

This is one of the first error messages I came across when I first bought my computer. The problem was that I had forgotten to plug in my keyboard. I found the error message to be hilarious because it asks you to press F1 or DEL when it knows that no keyboard is connected.

Unknown error?


This is one of the strangest error messages I have ever come across in Windows ME. Guys, what am I supposed to understand from this message?

No Error?




One of the weirdest error messages we have seen in Macromedia Dreamweaver is this one. It's very clear that it is an error, but the text states otherwise. So who are we supposed to trust?

Money laundering?


This is a funny error in Microsoft Money 98 which doesn't make any sense at all. We think Money 98 is trying to cover-up some misappropriation of funds in this way. What do you think?

Excel 97 doesn't want to quit


Excel 97 gives this error if you press the F8 function key at the wrong time - it simply refuses to let you quit the application.

Driving in India

This hilarious article was written by an Expert from Baan , Netherlands who spent two years in Hyderabad

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar , where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road?

The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwaters to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty,
often meeting with success.


Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton 's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds:
The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.


One-way Street:These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive, as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical; I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house.

This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Chenghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Chenghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads. During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically.

This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just a statement of physical relief on a hot day.
If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home and The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in our constitution.

Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries!!? ?How Intriguing…

***HOW TO iNSTALL LOVE SOFTWARE iN UR HEART***

LoveTech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

TechSupport: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not verytechnical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open yourHeart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will entually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure... Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: orgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. SoLove isinstalled and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer:Thank you..
.
.
LOVE MESSAGE:- SO FRiENDS,iNSTALL LOVE iN UR HEART AND DELETE EViLNESS AND EGO FOR A SUCCESSFULL AND A HAPPY LiFE..
.

Arcturus,Rigel,Aldebaran,Pollux,Sinus,Betelgeuse and Antares are some of the biggest and brightest stars of the galaxy.

A British Diplomat paid a courtesy visit to Lalloojee. During a party, he thought of entertaining Lalloojee with the following magic of numbers.

He said, “Your excellency, Look at the value of the alphabet:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Now, look at this Sir, if we calculate together it will be:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only

L O B B Y I N G
12 15 2 2 25 9 14 7 = 86 % Only

L U C K
12 21 3 11 = 47 % Only

Sir, you should look at the final one, which is most important.
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %

Sir, do you find it useful? This magic can work on your people to improve themselves, increase productivity, and make your country prosperous. Sir, I can arrange to send our experts to coach your people. We can do it in less than a year”

Lalloojee thought for a while; and said, “I have better formula. See this……

C O R R U P T I O N
3 15 18 21 16 9 15 14 = 111 %

Do you want me to come and teach your people? I can do it in less than one week.”